You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
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