she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
