She is in my trunk
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
