I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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