I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
