I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
