Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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