Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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