Do you still have your period?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
