Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
