Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My cat gives me a boner
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
