Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
false alarm, still single
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