I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
