Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
