the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
