Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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