he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize