This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
