he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
