im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize