I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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