dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
