remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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