The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
