I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
