I got chris browned last night
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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