Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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