Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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