Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I am naked and annoyed.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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