I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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