I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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