Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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