If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
