I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
