i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
