What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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