I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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