Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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