I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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