Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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