The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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