About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
