just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
