Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
