i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
