Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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