i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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