I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize