Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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