You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
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You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
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Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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