Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
