i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
