Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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