I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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