I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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