You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
