Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
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