ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
