he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
