When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
