I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been