Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
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I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
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The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now