I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.