Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?