Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Why are handjobs necessary in class?

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(330): View more from Ohio

Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.

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(904): View more from Florida

She just used a chaser for red wine.

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave

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(513): View more from Ohio

I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.

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(917): View more from New York City

level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar

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