so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize