New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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