In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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