he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
