I have demons in me.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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