No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize