awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
