I hate your face
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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