Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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