I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
