yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
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You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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