i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Randomize
